Everyone was seated and the wedding party was all lined up and I kept out of sight as the music started playing and Lina and Mia started walking down the aisle, Next went Thomas and then my girls walked down to the boys at the end. Jameson flew in just in time last night and he was Chase's college roommate, one of the only friends he kept from college.
"Ready?" I looked beside me and I saw Riley standing there, he looked great in a tux.
"No." I laughed and he smiled
"Yes you are," he looked me over "You look beautiful Brylee and I'm so happy for you and I'm so proud of you." he touched my cheek softly and leaned in to press his lips to my forehead.
"Thanks." He reached to my flowers and turned on the lights for the candles.
"You deserve to be happy." he didn't have me take his arm to walk down; he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine.
"Don't let go." I told him and this moment was even more emotional, he was all I had and it felt right for him to be the one to give me away.
"I have to." I wiped the drop of water that slid down his face away and I took a deep breath and looked up trying to stop myself from crying.
"I love you." I told him and the music for me started playing and he gave me a big smile.
"I love you more." And he pulled on my hand and we walked to the top of the aisle and I took another deep breath as I looked up to see Chase standing there waiting for me, it always seemed like he was doing that; always ahead and waiting for me to catch up. He looked great and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as I walked closer. I looked at him and his hand came up and he had to wipe his eyes too and the closer I got the more clearly I could see that he was crying.
At the end of the aisle his father stood up and I he put his hand on my back.
"Who gives this woman away today?" the pastor asked, I had talked to Riley about this and he was okay with it.
"We do." they both said and I could see how much the gesture meant to Chase, it was small thing for me to do but it means so much to him and to his father who didn't have a daughter.
Riley squeezed my hand and the tears returned to his eyes as he took my hand and put it in Chase's and I kissed his cheek before I stepped up to him and he stepped to his place right beside Chase, as his best man and he was mine too.
"I love you." Chase whispered as he lifted my veil and I smiled.
"I love you more." I used Riley's words and I handed my flowers to Rochelle, I saw the place for my parents and I loved him even more for everything he's done for me to make this day everything that I could have ever wanted.
The pastor's voice didn't matter right now as I looked at Chase until Chase was the one who started talking, He wanted to write his vows and he told me that he wanted to hear mine when we were at the reception, which I thought was weird but I agreed.
"I've loved you my whole life and it sounds cheesy but it's true. You tried to kiss my broken arm better when we were six, you told me that you didn't care about catching cooties for me when we were seven and you held my hand when I had those tests done with I was eight.
Riley probably doesn't know this but you were my first kiss when I was nine and became another one of my partners in crime when we were ten. When having out with girls wasn't cool anymore I didn't care because you were worth everything.
I held your hand when your dog died when we were eleven and you were the first person I let see me cry when my grandma died when we were twelve. Thirteen I wasn't proud of because I pushed you away because we were teenagers and I thought that I was cool. When we were fourteen Riley made a rule that you were off limits and when we were fifteen I knew that it was one I wouldn't be able to keep.
I was fifteen when I fell in love with you and as I realized more about love I knew that I needed to give you time because if I really loved you then I wouldn't push myself on you.
When I was sixteen I had to watch you have your first boyfriend and it killed me but I bared it and at seventeen I knew that you were the girl I was going to marry and I know you don't believe that but there's been something I've been keeping from you and before I marry you I need to tell you."
He paused and I was in tears listening to his speech.
"When I was seventeen I knew that we were getting older and I would have to start thinking on how to make my move, I was always going to wait until after high school and possibly college so your brother didn't murder me. But that year at Christmas break I finally got the courage to talk to your dad. He was like one to me and it was weird being so formal with him but I asked to talk to him privately and he brought me into his office.
I told him that I loved you and it threw him off a little bit but he let me talk. I told him that I know we were too young now but that I had every intention of marrying you one day, after college and when we were both ready. I told him that I respected you and that I would treat you right.
He had asked why I loved you and I still can't tell you a single reason, I just love everything about you, the good and the bad, I love the way you make me feel and I love your heart.
He was patient as he listened to me ramble and I was so nervous he was going to tell me to stay away from you for the rest of my life but he didn't.
He patted my back, shook my hand and he told me that when the time came, when I felt that it was right he would give me his blessing to ask you to be my wife. I know it hurts you that I couldn't ask him, that you would never know what they thought so before I married you I needed you to know that it may have been a long time ago, but he did give me, us, his blessing."
And I nearly lost it, the tears wouldn't stop and Rochelle grabbed one of my hands and Chase wiped them away
"Damn it I'm going to need this fixed." I said and he laughed which lightened the mood, I'm sure I looked like an absolute mess but I don't know the last time I was this happy, it was one thing after another but nothing else mattered as I looked at him.
His brown eyes held so much love as he looked at me and I just wanted to be his wife, I wanted to kiss him and have him hold me and I wanted to have our first dance and I wanted the rest of our life to start and yeah, I wanted tonight to come so, well so we could.
"Do you Brylee Acosta take Chasen Rodriguez to be your husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad? Do you promise to be faithful and love him as long as you both shall live?"
"I do." I said a little softly getting emotional again
"And do you Chasen Rodriguez take Brylee Acosta to be your wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad? Do you promise to be faithful and love her as long as you both shall live?" he asked Chase
"I do." my heart was beating frantically
"The rings." The pastor asked and Monica handed me Chases that Thomas had given to her and Riley handed Chase mine. Thomas was shy and just wanted to sit next to Linda through the wedding, not come back up to give them to us which was fine.
"As a symbol of how endlessly happy you make me and of how crazy I am about you, I give you this ring Angel so you and the whole world will know how much I will always love you. I hope you'll wear this ring and be reminded every single day of how much I love you, Brylee." He put the band on my finger with the engagement ring.
"I give you this ring as a symbol of our one life together. I am bound to you always through my love, with my soul and abiding love. I hope you'll remember this day when you look at this ring and be reminded that I love you more than anything, Chasen." I said his full name and he rolled his eyes but he smiled as I slid the ring I had gotten him on his finger.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, Chase kiss your bride." He told him and I didn't even get the chance to wrap my arms around him before he gripped onto me and kissed me as he dipped me backwards, which was quite alarming. When I was back on two legs I kissed him harder and Riley had to clear his throat to get us apart.
"The dip and kiss? Really?" I asked and he shrugged
"We only get to do it once, nothing wrong with a little bit of cliché." I didn't have an argument for that. Rochelle handed me my flowers and we walked back down the aisle together, hand and hand, married.
Guests were brought in for cocktail how while Chase and I signed the marriage certificate with Rochelle and Riley as witnesses and then Lizzie had to fix my make-up for group pictures. Thankfully she tried to make them as fun as possible, throwing in random pictures to break up the formal, they would look great but sometimes taking them was so boring.
We took a picture with my parents wedding picture in our hands to remember them and I took a bunch with Riley. Then there were the group, him and his parents, us and his parents. Thank god we did half of them already because just these ones took an hour and a half.
After the photos it was time to go in and have our first dance together and then I would listen to the song for my father before I was taking the bottom of this damn thing off because it was so incredibly heavy, I figured I would be a mess after the song for my dad so I would fix my make-up again while I take the bottom off my dress.
Thy announced us and Chase grabbed my hand and kissed me before we walked into a room with our friends and family all there. I didn't know what song we would be dancing to, Chase picked it out and wanted it to be a surprise, all I knew was it was a country song.
It was the first of two songs we would have, we were too indecisive.
I stood in front of him in the middle of the room and his eyes watered ever so slightly and I took a deep breath while the song played and 'Then' by Brad Paisley started playing and I felt myself getting emotional, at this rate I was never going to make it through this night.
It showed his feelings, how he's always felt about me from falling in like, to loving me, falling in love and all the years of his feelings growing until this moment. The song represented the future we would have and his feelings never faltering, only growing.
I let him hold me as we swayed to the music, Chase knew how to dance as did I but we were content as we were and when the song ended Rochelle came over to hold my hand, I was excited to see it but at the same time I just wanted to get these emotional ones out of the way so I can just stop crying, both happy and sad tears, and drink a little, dance with the girls, eat, and enjoy the rest of the night.
She started the slide show and I didn't even make it to the third picture before thick tears started streaming down my face, again. Hell I didn't even make it to the actual words.
The first picture was me as a newborn in his arms, then the one of Riley and I and him, the one of us as a family, our first family picture.
"She spins and she sways to whatever song plays without a care in the world. And I'm sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. It's been a long day and there's still work to do. She's pulling at me saying dad I need you. There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancing; so please daddy please."
The chorus played and Chase wrapped his arm around me and I covered my face with my hands as I cried and Riley's hand slid into mine and there were pictures of me growing up, me standing on his toes as he danced with me, it was something him and mom loved to do.
Except in my case, the clock struck midnight and he was gone.
He was always busy when we were little but never too busy for us, we didn't understand that he had work to do when we were six but if we wanted to play he would play with us even if it meant sacrificing sleep to do it.
Nothing was more important than us to him and to mom and I missed that, it was how I wanted my kids to feel about Chase and I, which is why I wanted to hire someone else to take some of the work.
My shoulders shook as I watched it, the pictures turning from me as a baby to a toddler, my first steps, grade school, junior high, dances, him and I when we were on vacation, high school, homecoming, prom, graduation, college acceptance letter, Monica and Riley's wedding, with the twins, there was so much of our lives put into one video and the one that got Riley and I was our last family photo, taken two days before they died, our last Christmas together.
That year I insisted I was too old for the stupid family Christmas cards but my parents wouldn't accept it and now I would give up anything to do it one more time and I'm glad that we had those last pictures.
After the music stopped a short video played which made me cry even harder because it was a mashed video of me dancing with him to this song when I was probably four, then again at maybe six, ten, thirteen, sixteen and when we did the night of my prom.
"You may not get your father daughter dance tonight with him but you had eighteen years of them." Rochelle spoke into the mic and I hugged her because I needed this, it's hard but this was exactly what I needed. She grabbed my hand and brought me from the room and let me cry before telling me to stop the crying, fix my make-up and go have my second dance with my damn husband, her words.
And that's just what I did, the big poof was removed from the dress, Lizzie took off all the make-up and replied it and I stepped back into that room feeling lighter, happier. I was glad that they understood I needed that; I needed to cry a little bit and be sad for the moments I won't have and once I do that, then we can really take advantage of the open bar and get the fun going.
I was going to shorten it and make this and the next part one chapter but as i wrote i wanted to just start new, end the sadness with this one and move on to the happy in the next.
And here's where i'm not going to be so polite and if you think i'm a bitch, i don't care.
To those of you who sit there and say oh boo hoo get over it, they're dead, why am i dragging it on... Fuck you, alright, just fuck you. I have both my parents but my boyfriend lost his mother, i have friends who have lost ONE parent and it kills them daily, even a year, five or ten later. it NEVER goes away so if you have nasty things to say about that, keep it to your damn self or i will not be polite in my reply.
there are very personal things in this, hard things to handle emotionally. losing a child and the loss of a parents isn't just oh, move on, no. just no so until you've experienced it or can physically see someone you love and care about go through it, i don't want to hear you're rude comments.
i'm not going to just make them breeze over it because it's not realistic.
By the way, i bawled my ducking eyes out writing this. <3
and now the happy parts of the wedding and the honeymoon, which i know is what alll you pervs are waiting for <3 <3 <3
I for one am excited to move onto it and get my emotions in check again.