Chapter 193 - Preposterous
"Well, so I win the first round?" Jun Mo Xie deliberately asked the silently standing Long Crane. He had asked both the brothers to try and defeat him, and therefore it was important for the both of them to concede their defeat separately.
"Yes, we've lost." Long Crane reluctantly stated with difficulty.
Although he was admiring Jun Mo Xie's shocking abilities, he could sense that his opposition clearly possessed some magical abilities, which meant that it would be extremely hard to win this competition since the other party's abilities would be hard to assess.
I simply don't understand how this happened!
Our speed and strength will be completely useless against this man's magical powers! Long Crane and Big Bear were both basically thinking the exact same thing at this point.
"Thank you for letting me win!" Jun Mo Xie cupped his hands humbly: "Alright, the next one is yours to decide; I won't mind even if the both of you give the task a try."
But we mind! How the hell are we supposed to come up with something that could possible defeat you....! The two people who were initially eager to celebrate their victory were now looking dismayed and doubtful.
Jun Mo Xie's stunt had completely shocked them both, but moreover it had completely disoriented their plans and calculations.
Long Crane and Big Bear pouted their lips after to a while to hide their embarrassment.
What can we possible do against such a master? It seems that he'll beat us at anything.
The two of them remained huddled close for a while, and continued to mutter in discussion, but the more they discussed, the less sure they became of their victory; and the less sure they were of their victory, the tighter their brows puckered out of tension. They continued to discuss for a long while, and then eventually fell silent, and just continued to stare at each other in dismay, unable to come up with a solution.
"It seems that this is going to take some time. Shall I go home and get some sleep first?" Jun Mo Xie teased them.
"How dare you be so arrogant? I'm telling you...." Big Bear opened his mouth in fury to curse out, but was unable to find the right words; he tried almost five or six times, but wasn't able to find the right selection of words.
"So what's it then?" Jun Mo Xie decided to keep the pressure on them.
"I've had enough of you... you bastard!" Big Bear burst into anger out of embarrassment: "......What's the hurry, huh? Let me remind you that your present attitude isn't very noble!"
Jun Mo Xie's face suddenly became rigid; Did you just call me a bastard? Fortunately Jun Mo Xie heard the second part of his sentence before bursting forth to procure some raw meat for a bear's paw soup.
"How long is this going to take? I reckon it will be dawn soon! You may have all the time in the world, but I have a lot of other things to do!" Jun Mo Xie's voice suddenly started to rise in volume: "Hurry up!"
"I've already told you......." Big Bear opened his mouth to hurl abuses at Jun Mo Xie again since he simply couldn't stand it anymore, but then suddenly ended up jumping up; a ring of halo emerged inside his brain, and he loudly roared out: "..... I'll pee!"
What? The final words hit Jun Mo Xie's ears like a thunderbolt, and he almost fell to the ground. He dizzily looked at the big and burly man in front of his eyes, unable to fathom that this fierce killing machine would've actually uttered the word 'pee' from his own mouth!
Why is this guy talking like a three year old all of a sudden?
At this moment, Jun Mo Xie couldn't help but wonder if he had heard the word correctly.
Long Crane was also startled for a second, but then his slender eyes started involuntarily revolving in circles, while his pupils started to dilate......
"You're telling me...... that you'll...... pee?" Jun Mo Xie repeated the sentence, but his eyes were glaring questioningly at his opponent and it seemed that his brain wasn't willing to trust his ears.
"Correct, we'll pee!" Big Bear's body language had suddenly become very confident ever since he had first said it, and it seemed as if the heavy burden which was suppressing him earlier had been lifted off: "I would like to challenge you to a urination contest! How about it? This is what we want the second round to be; do you wish to concede your defeat?"
"Urination contest? How do you intend to decide the winner? By who urinates higher... farther.....or more............." Jun Mo Xie was barely able to find his words, and it seemed that his eyes would start spinning around in circle at any moment.
A first class Spirit Xuan expert has just challenged me to a urination contest? This may have been alright if we were all three years old, but most normal people are done with such activities after the age of three..... no one does this after they grow up!
A full grown man was standing in front of Jun Mo Xie, and was asking him to take out his equipment in front of everyone, and then use it to excrete his watery wastes.......Do Xuan Beasts even know the meaning of the word 'Shame'?
What is this! It seemed that Jun Mo Xie had underestimated the degree of shamelessness that certain people were capable of exhibiting; and to make matters worse, these people weren't even people... they were animals!
"Not higher, nor farther, these things are for children. We however, are all qualified masters here, so we won't be playing such basic games."
Big Bear groaned twice to clear his throat, but his face had already started to redden with embarrassment, and yet he tried to convince himself, We really can't lose to this man, even if he only requires us to do just one task.... After all, who knows what he'll ask us to do?
He's got some magical powers for sure, so his task definitely won't be very easy!
Damn it, anyway not many people will see my shamelessness, so what do I need to be nervous about? As long as we win this contest, we at least won't have to do his work!
"You did an action which we both were incapable of doing, and therefore we readily conceded our defeat." Big Bear was struggling to maintain a straight face because he was afraid that relaxing his facial muscles would expose his embarrassment: "Now I will do an action, and as long as you can imitate me, we will lose this one. If you cannot do it, then you'll lose!"
"An action while.... urinating?" Jun Mo Xie narrowed his eyes: is there something special about this thing? This is something that we learn to do the moment we are born. Now that we've all grown up, we can all urinate with two hands, with one hand, and even if we hold our hands behind our backs, we can still urinate freely, comfortably, and smoothly. We can lie down and urinate, we can urinate while twisting our waist around in a circle, and we can even urinate while jumping up and down. Heck, we can even run around while taking a leak... and then we can make circles in the ground, and so on so forth.... There's nothing really more to it......
Ah, in case we urinate while squatting down, then it would be theoretically possible to direct it upwards and into our.... Is that what you're up to? Because I'm definitely not doing that!
"Of course the action will be done while urinating! What else do you think I said?" Big Bear opened his mouth and snapped back at Jun Mo Xie: "Since you're the challenger, I'll go first!"
Jun Mo Xie simply couldn't bear to see it at first and closed his eyes: what's going on here? Do I really have to watch as he urinates? What does he think... does he think that beautiful flowers will start growing in the Tian Xiang City after he urinates here ah......
Just as he was wondering what the action was going to be, Big Bear opened his mouth and exhaled a mouthful of air, and then stomped his burly feet on the ground with a 'thud', and then his burly body majestically flew upwards into the sky! The ease and speed of his movement was truly worthy of a Spirit Xuan expert's pride!
"Good skill!" Jun Mo Xie silently muttered to himself in praise. However, his eyes were still staring on in confusion: didn't this guy say he was going to pee? Is he going to pee from up there?
Just as Jun Mo Xie was about to voice his doubt....
Big Bear proudly opened his mouth and grinned as his hands quickly untied the waistband of his trouser while his body continued to rise up in the air. Then, he quickly inserted his hands into his trousers, and nimbly pulled out his tool, shrugged it once, puffed his chest with air, and then exerted with all his strength, 'Hhh', and sparkling water arrows surged outwards like a flooding yellow river, making 'chi' 'chi' sounds as they raced away from his body.
Jun Mo Xie was left flabbergasted by the strong smell, and felt as if he'd faint at any second......
On the other side, Long Crane suddenly covered his face from shame......
Big Bear's tall and burly body was still standing upright in the sky, while his eyes were seemingly staring at the horizon. He exerted more strength from his chest, and held his weapon steadily in both his hands, and slowly starting rotating, making his shiny water arrows spray out in all four directions.....
His fluids were spreading in all directions in equal volumes, and were notching the same distance as well......
Big Bear's clothes were fluttering in the air in a rather magnanimous manner... well... minus his indecent parts; but the rest of the show seemed quite exquisite....
Although his body was slowly drop in altitude, but the speed of his descent was almost negligible.
Finally the trajectory of the water jets slowly started contracting in range, and then eventually dried out. Then Big Bear comfortably shrugged his tool twice in the air, and then his hands swiftly.... Stuffed his war weapon back into his trousers. Then, he leisurely took his time to tie his waistband into a bowknot.
After he was done with his stunt, Big Bear leisurely descended down to the ground gracefully, and smilingly nodded in Jun Mo Xie's direction.
"I didn't have much to drink earlier." It genuinely seemed that Big Bear was regretting that he hadn't executed his action to perfection.
Jun Mo Xie didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
He was suddenly reminded of an incident from his previous life; A youngster had jumped onto the traffic police's podium at the cross-section of a busy crossroad, and had then flowed out his water jets in all directions unbridled, despite the traffic policemen's repeated warnings; but Jun Mo Xie had never expected that someone would actually be capable of paling that man's achievements into insignificance! This was obviously a very difficult task to perform!
Jun Mo Xie was terrified out of his life at the thought of imitating this action!
Big Bear tightened his belt, and triumphantly stated: "Boy, I've demonstrated it; now it's your turn!"
Jun Mo Xie was left dumbstruck for a long while, and simply continued to stare at the face of this Spirit Xuan strong Xuan Beast; then he shook his head, sighed and said: "I concede my defeat!"